So, I've had a crazy string of things happen that caused me to take some time off from blogging....one of the main ones being the loss of my laptop in a dog vs. soda accident. Anyhow, I'm back now, kind of! In the time I was off, I switched to Effexor because the cost was better than Savella but I didn't find it nearly as effective. I *thought* some of my symptoms actually seemed worse with it. I asked the doctor if I could go back to my regular anti-depressant (Celexa) until I could figure out a way to afford Savella and he let me change. That might have been a HUGE mistake. I had heard that coming off of Effexor was really really nasty but I really didn't experience anything too bad, thankfully. What DID happen was that I realized that for as much as I didn't *think* it was working, it was certainly keeping some of the bad symptoms at bay. Welcome to Alzheimer's land! Within days, I felt the fog creeping up on me and I'm back to my forgetful old self now. On top of that, it feels to me that the depression along with it is worse. Panic attacks and headaches are back, too. I think the doctor might think I'm a fruit loop if I call back and ask to change meds again but I see that on the horizon for sure.
I'd like to hear from some of you how you're coping this summer. Last week when our outdoor temps were in the 100+ degrees, I stayed in as much as possible and felt sick the whole time anyhow. Headaches, nausea, fever.... for 3 of those days, my temp was equivalent to 102F. I really might have to invest in more ice packs if the summer gets worse! I've officially turned into one of the elderly that they warn to stay inside when the heat index skyrockets! Who knew you could be elderly at 37?
Let's see, what else happened during my time off? We've still been dealing with Kyle's issues. (Going on a bit of an ADD rant here.) When he was diagnosed, the doctor put him on Strattera at my request. I'm not a fan of stimulants for kids and I've heard so many bad things about them that I wanted to avoid that for as long as possible. The first few days, he'd wake up and take his 18mg and within an hour he'd be out again for a two to four hour nap. He was still having trouble sleeping at night though. With a little bit of research, I found that a lot of people taking Strattera found that it worked best for them at bedtime because it would knock them out and then they could sleep all night. Well, we tried that and it worked fairly well, especially when we added Melatonin to it. Eventually, he was up to the max dosage of Melatonin though and suddenly he wasn't sleeping at all. He'd knock out for two to four hours around 11pm and then that was all she wrote! He'd wake up and be up alllll night and day until the next dose. We tried moving up to 25mg Strattera and that didn't change anything at all. Not only was he not sleeping, he was SO grumpy/irritable/whiny. Anyhow, I got a referral for him to a pediatric neurologist (in December!) and he's off Strattera until then. Amazingly, the first day off of it, he started sleeping again and has only been taking the Melatonin a few nights as needed! Anyhow.... I just had to get that out there because on top of my regular insomnia, I've been staying up with him and so it was about a month or more of no sleep for me!
OH! For those of you who are interested, I'm still not drinking Mt Dew! I haven't experienced any of the "miracles" associated with stopping yet but I'm still hopeful!
Okay, just a couple more things and I'll stop with the rambling. (Maybe I'm the one with ADD?) I'm a Hallmark Channel junkie in the wee hours of the night. They have a great lineup, although, I have to admit, I've seen EVERY episode of The Golden Girls and Frasier at least 5 times! Anyhow, there are two particular episodes of The Golden Girls that really hit home for me. Episodes 103 & 104 are titled "Sick and Tired" (Parts 1 & 2) and they are about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I can't remember (obviously, lol) when CFS really came into the public eye but I'm guessing it was about the time the show originally aired. I strongly recommend these episodes to anyone else suffering with any "non-visual" debilitating disease. They hit so close to home for me that I cry every time I watch them because of the total validation I get from them.
Here we go, last thought for the night! Since it's now after 2am, I am officially the mother of a 9-year old boy. It's so strange because you hear other people say "I remember it like it was yesterday" or "Where does the time go?"..... I don't remember it and I don't know where the time went because nothing really exists for me that happened more than a month ago or so. We had an adorable baby book when he was born and I was very lax about filling it out because I had a crazy accurate memory then and thought I'd never need to write it down to remember..... or that when I DID sit down to fill it out, it was no problem because of course I'd remember that, right? Anyhow, I now have a 9-year old, an empty baby book and no recollection of the major-milestones of the last 9 years. There are no first steps, no first words, no rolling over. Does it ever stop? Does it get better or worse? What happens when he moves out on his own? Do I forget his existence if I don't see him for a month at a time? I hate to end on a note like this but these are the things plaguing my mind right now. Thanks for reading, feedback is appreciated and welcome!
